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Re: (Can I ask y'all something sensitive?) » Dinah

Posted by alexandra_k on May 1, 2005, at 19:56:35

In reply to Re: (Can I ask y'all something sensitive?) » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on May 1, 2005, at 19:30:34

> Sometimes it's when I'm upset. And the most obvious examples are from before you started posting, I think.

Ok. I guess I can only go by what I have seen / read. But sometimes it is fairly clear to me just on the basis of what I have seen.

> But that's not it always. Sometimes it's not that at all. It's more than about being upset. That's not the only thing it is.

Yup. I guess thats just when it is most obvious to me.

> Also, I (pointing to my head) get pretty upset as well, so I'm not sure... Not just rationally upset either. Head about to blow up upset.

Yeah. But I think that you tend to post more in a logical style when rational you is more in control. Still mad, still upset, I can tell that by the tone, but what you write is still more rational.

> Oh, I'm a contrary soul. I often want to stamp my feet and post obvious examples. And not just bad ones. I (pointing to my gut) am not just "the beast". I'm also the playful, earnest, head tilted to one side, gazing half shyly from under my lashes...

Sure :-)
I think I get you a bit more.

> Oh blast.
> I'm so contrary. Sometimes I'm so ashamed, but sometimes I just want to be "seen". And then I get ashamed again. And afraid.

I feel like that sometimes too.
Different aspects of me post.
But they post so regularly that people probably don't recognise them as different aspects.
They are probably more integrated in other peoples minds than they are in my own.

Different parts on different boards even.
I used to really worry that one would start posting under another posting name.
But I have faith that Dr Bob would figure that out and block them.
So.
They seem to post under my name which is better than the alternative (I don't want to get blocked but I understand that would happen if they started doing that and persisted in it).

But I don't like it at all.

And yeah, there is a lot of shame there.

 

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