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Re: Can someone help, please??

Posted by Tamar on April 22, 2005, at 4:38:34

In reply to Can someone help, please?? Ľ antigua, posted by Shortelise on April 22, 2005, at 0:00:18

Antigua,
I terminated recently, and when I was approaching termination I felt a lot of fear that I hadnít finished working through all the trauma. But I came to realise that it would never be completely finished; it felt more like a change than an ending. Talking about the nasty stuff in therapy was really hard at the time, but it helped so much. I finally feel as if I can live with myself, if that makes sense.

For me, it was a matter of recognising that I canít erase my problems. I canít undo the bad things that happened to me and I canít make it all go away. But after therapy I feel that some of the broken parts of me are healing. There will always be a scar, or a weakness within me, but it doesnít define me and it doesnít hurt every minute of every day. I donít have to hide from it any more.

So I think I did get over most of the guilt and shame. Sometimes I still feel shame, but therapy taught me ways of moving past those feelings when they threaten to overwhelm me. When I started therapy I couldnít understand what people meant when they said they preferred to be described as survivors rather than victims. I was a victim. But I think I get it now. Iím surviving and itís because I worked very hard in therapy to start healing.

ShortE,
I think the stage youíre going through is just as hard as working through the pain, because facing the end of therapy is a process in itself and it can feel quite discouraging. Donít be too hard on yourself. Itís a new step and it takes time to get used to it.

(((((Antigua))))) and (((((ShortE)))))

Tamar



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