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Re: falling rubenstein

Posted by fallsfall on April 18, 2005, at 20:23:18

In reply to falling, posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

I used to do what your therapist wants you to stop doing: stop trying so hard to get better, no more books, no more magazines, no more anaylzing why I feel some way and to simply feel it.

The short version of the long story is that I plan my sessions much less, rehearse them less, read almost nothing, and I'm making a lot more progress. I think that I was doing so much work because I didn't trust my therapist to be able to help me - so I figured I had to do it all myself. I don't know if I gained confidence in his ability to help me and therefore stopped trying to do it all myself, or if I stopped doing it all myself and then he was able to help me more.

I can tell when I'm losing confidence because I start reading again.

These days I usually have some idea of how I will start a session (but sometimes I don't!!!!?!). And often I know a topic or two that I want to cover. But that is all. I try hard NOT to rehearse even the first paragraph for the session. I try to be more spontaneous (which is wicked hard for me). Much to my surprise, some of my very best sessions have been sessions when I really didn't have an agenda, I didn't know what to talk about. But somehow, important stuff came out.

I found that letting go that way was incredibly scary - because I was relinquishing control. And not being in control was terrifying to me. But my therapist has proven worthy of my trust, and we are making so much more progress now.

So, at least for me, not working so hard at therapy made therapy work better for me.

This is not easy stuff.
Good luck.

 

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