Posted by Shortelise on March 26, 2005, at 0:11:42
In reply to Re: how old are they now? » Shortelise, posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2005, at 17:06:31
Hmmm....
Throughout my life so far I have found that changes between friends can either cause a friendship to evolve, or to end. At the moment, anyone who isn't interested in talking a lot about gardening, cats, food, mental health, or films is not going to find me a very interesting playmate.
On the other hand, there are certain people I see only when I am in the mood for their particular sort of being. I can only take the bad news bear - aka Eeyore - once every month or two for as long as it takes to eat a leisurely lunch; the vain lovely is fun a few times a month for half an afternoon, but no longer.
Maybe I would also invite this immature to do something like join a book club with me, or a science club, or maybe the philosophy club - I'm exagerating a little but you see what I mean - suggest some things they can do together where silliness is just not possible.
Otherwise I think I would limit my time with the friend who wants to be silly. I'd say, I can't go to your house today because I'm going to do whatever, but do you think you could come over to my house tomorrow and blah blah. Making it about activities, not people.
What seems important to me is that it not feel like a power struggle. The one who is needing to make other friends must do her very best not to let the other feel rejected and powerless. Telling her she is acting like a child probably wouldn't work, but giving her lots of attention when she acts her age, so to speak, might work.
Could it be that it's just like with litttle children - reward good behavior and try to ignore the bad behavior? Maybe that's the secret to life?
Your friend sounds like a good, caring person. Keep me posted!
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:475388
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/475691.html