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Re: :-) » alexandra_k

Posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 21:48:46

In reply to Re: :-) » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on March 7, 2005, at 21:19:44

Hmmm... I usually don't close my eyes as rational me. I don't necessarily look at him, but I only close my eyes sometimes. In fact, I remember in the years before emotional me emerged he once asked me to close my eyes, lean back and relax, and it made me feel sick and dizzy. I started panicking and needed to stop. I did look away from him. In fact I must have looked in the corners a lot, because he later said it looked as if I was watching fairies dancing that only I could see.

But as emotional me, I close my eyes and tip my head so far to the right that it sometimes aches afterwards. I have a natural head tilt, but it's often more extreme than that. And I almost can't open my eyes. I can maybe open them for a second, but if I try for sustained eye opening, my eyes flutter and twitch like some demented butterfly.

I hate to say it, but I think it's part of the self hypnosis I do. Maybe not, but that's my dark suspicion.

I know that in order to enter that state, I concentrate on the light and dark behind my eyes. And I turn it into a black & white image of my old dog's face (black with a white noseband), then alternate it with her body (white with a black face), which happens to be a near perfect negative of the face image. If I do that long enough I feel myself relax and, well, you know...

Actually I can usually do it pretty quickly now. Practice, practice, practice.

Which has nothing to do with your circumstances, except perhaps that my experience may not be replicable. But with my eyes closed, and in that state, I am immensely attuned to everything my therapist does and every change in his attitude and every nuance in the space between us.

Poor guy. He has to rely on his eyes and ears. :)

 

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