Posted by alexandra_k on February 24, 2005, at 13:13:12
In reply to Re: silence » alexandra_k, posted by lonelygal2 on February 24, 2005, at 7:40:12
> > Why are you afraid to acknowledge pain? Are you afraid acknowledging it will make it worse?
> i don't want to have pain :( .
(((lonelygal)))
Aw, hon. I don't think anybody wants to have pain. Most certaintly not the intense or hopeless kind of pain.> if i ignore it, won't it go away?
Well... How long have you been trying to ignore it for? Maybe it is time for a change of strategy. I think the idea is that if you stop ignoring it then it will get a bit worse for a while. That can be hard. You need to have coping skills in place so that you can cope. But by facing it more directly then you can work through it and hopefully figure out what is so painful and talk about it and then it won't feel so bad anymore.
I find that the more I try to push stuff away, the more it comes back to bite me on the *ss later. That being said there are times where I just have to do that because it is too much in the present. Or it is not an appropriate time to deal with it. It doesn't have to be everything or nothing. If I little bit comes out then that doesn't mean that ALL of it will come rushing back. I would say that talking to your t about it a little (or maybe writing a little something to give her to help get you started) would be the safest way. She should realise how hard this is for you (maybe thats why she is okay with the silence? She is hoping you will start to tell her that you are hurting?).
> also, i don't think i have a right to be upset. i should be fine.
It is normal to get upset. Everybody gets upset sometimes. But if you tell yourself you 'should' be fine then doesn't that make it worse because you then feel guilty and bad for the hurt that you are trying to ignore???
I am sorry for your pain.
It is a really really really hard thing to deal with. I have a lot of it myself..
poster:alexandra_k
thread:462409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462736.html