Posted by fallsfall on February 19, 2005, at 13:12:06
In reply to Re: Buckled @ Knees Thwarted Suicide Attempt » fallsfall, posted by corafree on February 19, 2005, at 11:22:32
>My heart is overwhelmed w/ so much sadness. I only trust my children and this safe place. Not my therapist, not right now.
>My T 'rapped my knuckles', so to speak, about missing first DBT homework/group in module INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS after I'd told her it felt like mathematics and I felt very uncomfortable. Any understand?You sound like you could use some support!
I'm sorry that your therapist's reaction felt unhelpful to you. Can you tell her how that made you feel and react? You need to have her on your side. In order to feel like she is on your side, she needs to understand what you are going through.
I did the DBT skills training. There were sections that were completely foreign to me, and other sections that seemed so easy. I guess that my upbringing taught me some of the stuff, but skipped other stuff completely. It was hard to work on the sections that seemed so strange to me (Mindfullness was - and still is- completely beyond me). But I knew that the hardest sections, the ones that didn't make sense to me, or made me react with "Yeah, right! I'm going to do that???????" were the ones that I needed the most. It reminds me of when I used to help teach ice skating, the kids (or adults...) would say "But I can't do that!" and I would reply "That is why we are working on it".
I would bet that you aren't the only one in the group who feels uncomfortable with Interpersonal Effectiveness. I think that one thing that I saw work in my DBT group was that each person would start each section wherever *they* were. And people were at all different places. As we went through a section, some people would just barely get the general idea, whereas other people were working on the finer points. But it needs to be completely acceptable for you to say "I don't understand" or "I can't in a million years imagine doing that". And then you work from there. Even if you go to the group and listen and try to get it, but all you can say is "I don't understand, but I'm trying to listen". That is all they can expect sometimes. If you listen to the other people in the group, they might say something that makes it possible for you to understand.
As adults, we aren't used to learning brand new things. It has been really hard for me to look at something and say "I don't know about this" - I expect that since I'm grown up that I should know everything. Well, duh, it doesn't work that way! It has taken a lot for me to accept myself in times when I don't understand things. And I had to accept that myself before I could admit to others that I didn't understand. And, amazingly enough, when I say that I don't understand something, people are generally very willing to go through it again and help me understand it.
I really hope that you can let your therapist and DBT therapist know what is going on with you. If you are now safe - if the danger has passed - can't you tell them what happened? So they can help you figure out how to deal with a similar situation in the future? Is there one of your professional helpers who you know really does want what is best for you? Or at least talk to us. You can't keep this all inside yourself.
>Did not tell T in DBT. Did not tell these people what I did. I've no $ for inpatient and do not; absolutely would not; trust state with my health.
You need to talk to your therapists about the fact that you are not comfortable telling them certain things. I know that is really hard to do, but it is SO important.
>I told my daughter and she came over yesterday w/ a meal, did dishes, picked up things; and we talked.
I'm glad your daughter can help you. Let us help you, too.
poster:fallsfall
thread:460049
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/460379.html