Posted by Pfinstegg on February 11, 2005, at 16:51:28
In reply to p-doc and coming assessment, posted by alexandra_k on February 11, 2005, at 15:30:29
There are several "dissociative scales" that can be used to help in diagnosis, but I think mainly the therapist and patient gradually arrive together at the realization that it exists. As someone who's got a disorder on the dissociative scale, I do want to encourage you not to think of yourself negatively because of that. I'm so glad, now, that I got properly diagnosed and am now getting treatment that is really helping. No-one in my life (except my husband and my analyst) knows that I have this. I have a doctorate, teach in a medical school, have been married for 30 years, and raised one son who is about to get his doctorate in physics, and is getting married to a great girl next fall. Everyone around me is OK, even thriving, but I was not. The right treatment has been a godsend for me; I feel so lucky to have found it, after several misadventures in therapy. None of the previous therapists ever dreamed that I dissociated, and I didn't know it either.
There are several very high-functioning, wonderful people posting here who have the same thing - Daisy, Aphrodite, Poet have all shared their experiences here, and have been a wonderful support to everyone else- certainly to me.
It sounds like perhaps you got scared with this pdoc- fear is a big feature of these disorders,and can really sabotage our efforts to obtain the right help. Feeling that the people we are turning to for help dislike or even hate us is another thing that happens a lot. When that happens to me, I really feel like running, or just "turning off" inside! I hope you won't turn your back on what might turn out to be a good start on getting the right kind of therapy.
Will you let us know how things go? I know you're young (26?), and want very much to go to grad school in something- perhaps here in the US. It would be so great not to have to carry the terrible burdens of abuse with you your whole life, and it would give you so much more energy to use in fulfilling your own dreams. Let us know what happens with this pdoc, OK?