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Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger* Camille Dumont

Posted by B2Chica on January 26, 2005, at 9:31:16

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger*, posted by Camille Dumont on January 22, 2005, at 23:29:03

i've never thought of mine having to do with psychosis...but....
mine are typically very violent and almost ALways toward myself-ex of simple one: if i'm walking down stairs at work i'll flash and see myself falling violently down breaking my neck and legs i feel pressure on those parts of my body and hear the bones crack (that's usually what 'snaps' me out of it) when i come out of it i'm usually out of breath very startled-sometime almost gasp-like and am frozen for a few seconds. I've only had these a few times infront of people and i've learned to cover with ('it was a bug'-and laugh it off)
-also see lots of shadow people, sometimes it's just shadow, sometimes it's (i swear) describable person-not as common-
-but what i hate are the tactile ones. where i feel someone (or many people) behind me, feel hands on back of leg or shoulders, neck or back. Those Really freak me out and get me jumpy.

> Well, I do have visual illusions / hallucinations and strange pulsions though whether these are psychotic of simply the consequence of an overactive imaginaton coupled with SPD is still up for debate but they do fall into certain categories.
> In terms of the visual stuff big recurring themes :
> - Bugs, spiders, flies, insects in general ... I see them appear in the air, wallpapers will transform in to masses of twitching spiders etc ... and the funny thing is, I have no problem with bugs in general, aside from really large numbers of ants, anything else I'm ok with and willing to handle
> - Dead / mutilated animals. Lots of dead cats, dead dogs, etc. I figure this is because I love animals so much
> - People ... mostly as shadows, vanishing as soon as I look at them. I see them on the roof of my house, darting from teh corner of my eyes, etc.
> In terms of the Mental shuff there is really only one "theme" : violence. It feels as though I have a morbidly curious freak inside my head suggesting things like : gee, wouldn't it be fun to grab that stranger there and smash his face agains the wall, I wonder what sound it would make. Or gee, I wonder how it would taste like if you'd grab that pigeon there and bit his head off, would the blood gush in your mouth or would it be mostly feather. Sometimes its directed at myself, curious pulsions about destroying / damaging my own body. Fortunately I don't feel as though I have to do what the "voice" suggests ... just annoying sometimes.




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