Posted by Pfinstegg on January 22, 2005, at 0:38:11
In reply to APPROVAL, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:28:01
Fallen, I just want to make sure that you know that I am not critical of you in any way. I never have been, and never would be. I am truly happy that you've found someone to love, and who loves you. You know I do think that it would have been better for him to follow professional ethical guidelines- waiting two years for a relationship- not starting a relationship immediately and waiting two years for marriage.(those are not the guidelines). The two-year waiting period is there for such a good reason- to make sure that these feelings are not mostly transference and countertransference (that would lead eventually to complete disillusion on both sides), and to eliminate the power differential which exists in therapy where one person reveals everything and the other very little (it will take time for you to become a fully equal partner to him- to know him as well as he knows you).
I do hope things go well for the two of you, and that you find real and lasting happiness together. As you know, there are several people posting here who have been extremely hurt, and even damaged, by similiar situations; when they express concern and worry, they are speaking from personal experiences of heartbreak, not from malice or ill will. But, there are bound to be exceptions to even the most tried and true rules. I hope that turns out to be what happens for you! I really do wish you well, and although you mention negative e-mails, my impression is that most of the posters, although they may be concerned and uneasy because of how things developed, wish you well also. I certainly do.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:439682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/445575.html