Posted by crushedout on January 20, 2005, at 20:23:16
In reply to i don't want a new T, posted by shrinking violet on January 20, 2005, at 17:46:58
Sheez, SV, I feel like I can relate so much to what you're going through. Especially the part about wanting her in your life but feeling like you've crossed the line of being therapist/patient. I've thought a lot recently about writing to my former T (for me, the difference is I've already started with a new T, even though there are lots of times I don't think it's worth it and that I should just quit) and telling her that I want her in my life on some kind of coffee level :), but I don't know whether that's possible and just leaving it to her to decide.
I'm not saying this well. I'm very distracted. But I feel like I can understand what you might be going through.
It occurs to me (and I could be completely off-base -- don't hesitate to tell me if I am) that you might be angry at your T and/or feel abandoned, even though on a rational level you realize it's not her fault that you guys have to stop therapy. And that (a) that might be part of what's making you want to end early and (b) that might be part of what's making you want to give up on therapy entirely. Since it's what she desperately wants you to do (i.e., continue), refusing to do so may on some level be an expression of anger or disappointment with her. Like I said, this could be way off.
In any case, I really feel for you.
poster:crushedout
thread:444799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/444882.html