Posted by partlycloudy on January 17, 2005, at 10:54:49
In reply to Re: Weird Away Dinah » partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on January 16, 2005, at 19:39:16
I see her again this evening. I find her much harder to read than my other T, and I wish I could have handed her a tape of my brain, saying "here's what I've tried already". She is concerned about my abysmal self esteem - whereas I'm thinking, where can I go but up?? - but I am hungry for learning new habits to help me feel better. This old record I play is all used up.
She wanted me to look into "Rational Recovery" for my alcoholism. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I already bought the book and threw it away in disgust, months ago. (Its basis is that there are no addictive personalities and we choose to behave like one. I simply do not accept this premise, or else I would have been able to cease drinking years ago. Just making up your mind is not enough, at least for me. I'm an analog person, not a digital one.)
She just seems to think I'm so smart and nice and articulate, and I just *don't* think so. The only time I feel remotely like that is when I'm manic. I'm pretty down on myself today, more than usual. In a foul mood, and it envelopes myself and the world I see.
poster:partlycloudy
thread:441318
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/443123.html