Posted by fallsfall on December 16, 2004, at 18:08:37
In reply to Re: Nope. » annierose, posted by fallsfall on December 16, 2004, at 17:56:05
I have spent since Monday so afraid of going to my session today. I didn't want to sink back into the transference - it is SO painful. As I thought over the last couple of days it was clearer and clearer to me that there was some serious transference going on. That there was no logical, rational explanation for my feelings. Almost like I was manufacturing facts out of thin air (I expected him to feel a particular way, therefore he must have felt that way).
I started the session telling him that there was clearly transference on Monday. He agreed that my behavior and trains of thought on Monday were not typical for me. I talked about assumptions that I seemed to be making and told him some stories from my childhood. I am starting to understand clearer that most people's world really is a lot more flexible than mine is.
It went well until we started talking concretely about what I could do to move forward. He made a suggestion that sent a wave of terror through me - and that surprised both of us. Then, as I was leaving I was scared that tomorrow I will go in and he'll tell me that I was too intellectual today (and so I would have failed therapy for the day...). He wouldn't promise me that he won't say tomorrow that I was too intellectual today...
So I stayed out of the transference (most of the session at least), and it seemed to me like we made a little progress. I tried really hard not to avoid the issue - hopefully I was successful.
poster:fallsfall
thread:428921
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/430424.html