Posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 0:11:29
In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do » simcha, posted by daisym on December 8, 2004, at 23:35:38
Oh, and from the very beginning I tell my clients to call me at any time. I check my messages 4-6 times a day lately due to my client load. It's important for me to get back to clients promptly.
I make sure that they should call me if they are having extreme difficulty that they cannot handle. Idle chat is for friends. Crisis is for therapists and good friends who can be really supportive. Most of my clients don't have these kind of friends so I really stress, every session in fact, that they SHOULD call me if something comes up...
Simcha
> I don't want to come across as challenging, Simka, but I don't know if you have that willow thing down yet.
>
> I think if you've already set a time limit for things, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc. you've already limited your flexibility. I know the basic idea is to offer support over the phone and do therapy during sessions. But sometime clients need more than 5 minutes of support.
>
> I am a competent, well-educated 40-something woman who works in human services. When I finally started talking to my therapist about the abuse that happened in my childhood, I was shocked at how absolutely overwhelmed and suicidal I felt. I remember the first time I called after a session. I think it was a couple of hours later and I said something like, "I don't know what is happening to me. I can't stop crying and I hurt so bad I can't function." It wasn't an emergency - I wasn't planning on hurting myself - but I NEEDED to have someone normalize the pain for me and just be there. He said all the right things and let me cry on the phone until I was calm. It probably took 15 minutes. If he had cut me off after 5 minutes, I probably would not have continued on this immensely hard road trying to heal. Since then, we have lots of phone contact. Much of this includes loosely scheduled phone check ins (like "let's touch base Friday afternoon") if I'm going through a rough patch. I worry a lot that I'm that "pain in the a**" client that made all the rules necessary. My therapist tells me that he wants me to reach out to him as much as I need to. I believe he means this. If you've read any of my posts you will notice that I swing wildly about accepting this attachment and fighting it.
>
> I think I read in one of your other posts (forgive me if I'm wrong) that "most" people in therapy have boundary issues. I would argue that it is just as likely for you to have a client who won't want to bother you AT ALL as it is to have one bother you too much. That would have been me if my therapist wasn't so proactive in encouraging me to use him for support.
>
> By the way, I do pay for phone calls. We agreed that this would help me get past my reluctance of bothering him.
>
> Lastly, I think you will encounter clients who can't afford extra sessions, can't take the time off work, etc. etc. In these cases, longer phone calls might be just the answer.
>
> I should admit to being sensitive about this subject tonight. I'm trying to add a perspective, not lecture.
>
poster:simcha
thread:420851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041203/msgs/426543.html