Posted by Shortelise on November 29, 2004, at 18:44:02
In reply to ideas for goodbye rituals?, posted by pegasus on November 29, 2004, at 13:50:19
How about something where you let go of the bad and keep the good?
Like, maybe, I don't know ... in the spring, plant a little tree, or maybe a rose bush, and put all the bad crap in the ground, shake it from your mind, off the ends of your fingers, and into the earth. You could let the tree or rose bush be the good things that remain and grow stronger and more beautiful in spite of the bad stuff.
There was one day a couple of years ago when I cried all through my session with my T - the first time I had done that. I saved the tissues. I still have them. If you have anything like that, you could put them in the ground with the roots.
It sounds like you need something that acknowledges your ambivalence. Everything that grows comes out of decay and death of a million things, and it takes a million other living things help to make it grow... it seems appropriate.
Otherwise, maybe something to do with the notes from your time with him. Would you want to get a nice envelope, or a box, something big enough to hold them all, and maybe some ribbons. Go through all the notes, sort them by date, or topic or however you like and tie them with ribbons in bundles, no matter how small or big, telling yourself the whole time that you are letting it go, putting it by. Then put them in the envelope or box and seal it. Put it somewhere away, in the attic, or in with other old, important papers you keep somewhere up on a shelf or in the garage. If there are other "souvenirs" of your time with him. maybe you would want to include those.
The idea of sending him down the river is ok, but that wouldn't feel like closure to me. Would it to you? I'd imagine him sinking to the bottom of the river, lying in the slime.
Whatever you do, I wish you the best. I think it's a fine idea.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:421895
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/421983.html