Posted by messadivoce on November 27, 2004, at 16:35:37
In reply to Re: moving beyond transference, posted by lifeworthliving on November 27, 2004, at 15:08:39
I've done A LOT of research on transference when it came up in my therapy and my T wasn't providing info as fast as I wanted. Transference is when you project expectations onto your T as if they're someone else. For example, I have issues with my dad and so I expected my T to be cold, judgemental and insensitive like my dad. I threw up tons of defense mechanisms which weren't neccessary b/c my T was nothing like my dad. I discovered I expect a lot of men to be like my dad when that simply isn't the case. Transference occurs outside the therapy room very often!
Attachment is just that--I'm sure that feelings of transference and expectations that are blown out of proportion don't help. I did manage to work through a lot of my transference with my T after he proved himself time and again to be different from my dad...someone I could trust. But I became incredibly attached to the person he was--I love him very much. The attachment, and not the transference, is what is now causing the pain.
But the question begs itself, why am I so attached? My T was in some ways the father I never had. I don't think that falls neatly under the title "transference", but my feelings are much stronger for him than any other substitute father figure (grandpa, uncle, mentor, advisor, physican). Anyone have thoughts?
poster:messadivoce
thread:420906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/420985.html