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Re: am I horrible for *not* feeling guilty for it??? » shrinking violet

Posted by JenStar on November 13, 2004, at 13:52:31

In reply to am I horrible for *not* feeling guilty for it???, posted by shrinking violet on November 13, 2004, at 11:28:02

hi Violet,
it definitely does NOT make you *horrible!* I don't know what it means, exactly, but NOT horrible. Maybe just: needy, curious, wanting more?

I think there is a line between normal curiousity and obsessive following. That line is subjective and a bit different for everyone, but I think most people would agree that you're on the "normal" side.

I don't think there's one of us who haven't -- at SOME point in life (high school? college?) tracked down a crush or a professor or an acquaintance, eager to understand how they live, hoping to learn more about them. Many people buy maps to the stars' houses in Hollywood...and we LOVE reality shows!.. which give us insight into the secret lives of other people. (There was even a Seinfeld episode where Jerry got a woman's unlisted # off an AIDS benefit charity donation list, or something like that!)

I think it's OK to find out some basic details about your T. These details might help ground your understanding.

I think it WOULD become obsessive if you DID start wandering around the property, or following her in her car, or sneaking up & eavesdropping on conversations, or parking/watching like a paparazzi, etc. That would be kind of scary, because it would indicate an unhealthy obsession and ultimately would hurt YOUR life - you'd be spending too much time thinking about her, and not enough about you.

But it sounds to me that you're only doing the normal curious "human" kind of snooping.

Anyway, I don't think you should beat yourself up about not beating yourself up. :) My advice would be: Just accept that you're a moderately curious person, you learned something about how she lives, and you're OK with that.

take care!
JenStar


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