Posted by daisym on October 13, 2004, at 19:07:10
In reply to Teens and Abandonment (long), posted by fallsfall on October 13, 2004, at 12:01:22
(((Falls)))
I was such a wreck when my first left home, I have no idea how I'll live through my 3rd and last doing it. I think for those of us with abandonment issues, it doesn't get easier. I feel more and more frantic about being left AGAIN!
But you are absolutely right, growing up and away means you are doing your job and giving her what she needs to be an individual. And even though it was brief, it does seem that the therapy has help you negotiate a few things. The war might not be over but the battles are less brutal.
Overall, your tears seem to be really appropriate. Stemming from fear of failing her, or having already done so, and from losing her. You haven't failed her by being sick. Try to remember that depression is an illness. She, as a selfish teen, might resent this but somewhere inside, she understands that you aren't doing it on purpose. It pains me to read that you think your family wishes you would just go away until you are better. I wish I knew how to help you get them to understand but I have no wise words here.
Just that it is a common human failing to not understand illness and not want to be around it. It makes us all look at ourselves without our immortality glasses on.Keep reminding yourself you are doing a good job and she is growing up into a very nice young lady. The proof is how she acts with OTHER people.
Hugs from me.
-D
poster:daisym
thread:402659
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/402796.html