Posted by cubic_me on September 22, 2004, at 17:45:32
In reply to SI (may trigger) and therapy, posted by rubenstein on September 22, 2004, at 16:54:24
My T is very similar in how she handles my SI, and my reaction is similar too. For a year we've discussed it, and what it does for me, but she never expressed any opinions on it or told me that I shouldn't do it, but I still feel guilty if I do it. Tonight is my first night on my own in a week or so, and I so so want to cut, but it'm my first T appt for 2 months tomorrow, and I feel like if she finds out I've cut, she'll think I was doing it to manipulate her, which I really don't want do and don't want her to think I do.
I think that because we expect people to disagree and look down on our behaviour we feel guilty for doing it. I have similar trouble with my boyfriend, explaining that I didn't SI because he wasn't with me, it's just that I wouldn't do it while he was there (but I don't want him to be with me all the time either!)
Have you explained to your T how you feel about this? I think I will try a little tomorrow. In the last few sessions she's got tougher about me trying harder to not cut when I don't *have* to, so it will be a good thing to discuss I think.
You're not alone
poster:cubic_me
thread:393782
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/393803.html