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Re: Therapy/writing/stories? » rubenstein

Posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 17:31:07

In reply to Therapy/writing/stories?, posted by rubenstein on September 16, 2004, at 9:57:58

It's funny that this came up right now, because I've just had two experiences with my pdoc that had a similar effect on me -- so much so that I'm thinking of changing his BabbleName from Dr NoName to Dr CattleProd.

The first had to do with his diagnosis, which was incredibly upsetting for me, because it was a diagnosis that I *knew* fit, but wasn't ready to face up to on my own. Having him put it on my chart as part of my Official Diagnosis was a real shock to my system -- but it also forced me to face it and examine it straight on, rather than continuing to glance at it from the corner of my eye.

The second just happened in the past 24 hours. I brought something up in my appointment with him yesterday that I hadn't been able to discuss with my therapist -- although I knew it needed to be part of the focus in therapy and *had* tried to say it to her -- but we didn't have time to discuss it. He said that we'd put it on the agenda for the next appointment, and asked if he could discuss it with my therapist in the meantime. I was paralyzed! I couldn't even manage to tell him that I wasn't sure what to say about that. Anyway, it did break the logjam -- I called and left a message for my therapist asking for an extra session this week, and identifying the issue that I hadn't been able to bring up with her. (I had told her that there was something wearing on me that I couldn't make myself say out loud, and -- since she's an intern and supervised by our marriage counselor who *has* heard some of it -- I suspect that she wasn't unaware of what it might be.) So, while we didn't go into it very deeply, we did discuss it today in therapy. And I left a message for him telling him that I had brought it up with my therapist, and that it was now OK for them to discuss it together.

I think sometimes we stymie ourselves, and that any way of getting past the logjam is Good -- even if it doesn't happen in *quite* the way we'd be most comfortable, or on our own schedule.

And I'm another who uses writing assignments, which I've found very helpful in getting past some of the trust issues. It's a lot easier for me to express myself in writing than in person, so they're a helpful tool in getting some things across that I wouldn't be able to do verbally. At the beginning of therapy with this therapist, I was having a very, very hard time, and the writing assignments helped break the ice and get me past that.

Also, for whatever the reason, the "me" who comes across in writing is probably a more honest reflection of the "me" inside than the "me" that people meet face to face. I know that, and so writing seems like an awfully valuable tool to use in the early parts of therapy, while building up to being able to expose those more vulnerable areas within me.

Hope that helps!


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