Posted by DaisyM on August 4, 2004, at 10:49:31
In reply to Re: Good therapist-cop/Bad therapist-cop, posted by lucy stone on August 4, 2004, at 10:24:43
I don't know GG, anyone who told me these things in such a blunt way would make me nervous. How does she REALLY know how you are doing in a 20 minutes conversation? It seems to me that she is hearing the side of you that feels bad about how things are going right now (you've had a tough couple of weeks) and she is going to "fix" you.
I could walk into any office right now and in 20 minutes have them convinced that I am perfectly fine...so would she tell me I don't need therapy at all?
I'm not saying don't work with her, I just don't want her to make you doubt yourself and get more depressed. I think she has already done the first. I can't imagine why she would feel it necessary to tell you you are acting like a child. She might think that and suggest working on a "more resilient way of coping with marital fights" but still...She was awful quick to judge.
I don't think your therapist will be upset with you. But he would probably question why you feel you need to work with this other person, beyond meds. Are you not getting what you need from him? Did she make you feel bad about certain things so you now feel you HAVE to work on them? Is there an underlying curiosity about her methods, or the fact that she is female?
Just me thinking out loud here. Somehow I'm reminded of your old boss whose CBT orientation you argued with a lot, and your therapist shares your views (I hope I didn't get that wrong.) If it was me, I don't think I'd have a session with her until my therapist was back and I talked to him about it. If he thought it was an experiment worth trying, then I would proceed. (OK, I wouldn't but that is just me.)
I should also caution that all of the above may be a bit strong because we've spent the last few sessions talking about how hard I try live up to my mother's expectations of me and how she would think the regression that therapy has brought on is ridiculous. She has always told me that I was too sensitive and moody, and that smart, strong women don't need therapy. They just need to plow through life and eventually everything gets better.
Your description of this doc hit a nerve.