Posted by lifeworthliving on July 9, 2004, at 23:28:25
In reply to Re: Very weird question » lifeworthliving, posted by Dinah on July 9, 2004, at 23:00:39
> You're not able to do it any more? Therapy has reduced your ability to do it?
>
> I don't think I'd like that. I even practice it for fun sometimes. Well, maybe not for fun so much as to try to gain some control over it so that I'll feel a sense of mastery.
>
> Yet control over the entire process continues to elude me.
>>>>>>>i don't know if therapy is to blame... perhaps because i have better coping skills, or maybe the awareness that i do it, so i try harder not to? also, my therapist seems kind of pushy about me not doing it... to the point that she will say that maybe i should leave... end the session if i'm not going to participate. it was only the year or so before i started therapy that i knew there was a name for what i did. (i thought i was only nuts and asked repeatedly if i was crazy) i know that my preference would be to spend the entire hour in my therapists office dissociating.often times only the fear that we might talk about something difficult will trigger this. i always am THRILLED to be there (to see her, hug her, etc) and nervous at the same time. i forget sometimes that i'm not there to love and be loved up. i hate it that i have to work and can't just enjoy an hour of hand holding, etc. the relationship drives me nuts but i can't imagine my life without her in it.
poster:lifeworthliving
thread:364407
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/364587.html