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Re: Why Can't I just say it? thewriteone

Posted by DaisyM on June 2, 2004, at 18:44:09

In reply to Why Can't I just say it?, posted by thewriteone on June 2, 2004, at 16:06:35

I've often said, "This shouldn't be so hard, they are just WORDS." But, I then try to remember that these were forbidden words, secrets that had to be kept. Anything tied to abuse will, of course, be hard to say. It is common for feelings to become confused around all of this. Please don't beat yourself up over it. There are all kinds of ways to "punish" yourself, this might be one on a subconscious level. A sort of self-inflicted torment.

I think leaving a phone message that you would like to talk about this in the next session is a great idea. Writing it down and bringing it in with you might help you also get to it. Sometimes it takes me 2 or 3 sessions to actually "tell" something that is working hard to get out but that there are equally strong protections around not telling. My Therapist has learned to give me lots of space but not leave too many long silences just hanging. He might say, "it is OK if you aren't ready," or "this is the right place to bring all your thoughts and feelings, so we can deal with whatever comes up." I usually finally blurt but that is me.

I hope you find the courage you are looking for. I'm sure it will be a weight off once you get it out there.

 

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poster:DaisyM thread:353100
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