Posted by crushedout on May 5, 2004, at 23:05:58
In reply to Re: Should I send this email to my T?, posted by gardenergirl on May 5, 2004, at 22:46:07
Hi gg,
Yes, this is so hard. I can't believe how hard it's been and how tired I'm getting of the drama. I really want a good resolution and I'm trying so hard to figure out what that is, without running away prematurely or sticking around and suffering unnecessarily. It's a tough balance to strike.
I don't think the exchange with Miss Honey was like any exchanges with my T, but I most certainly do not want you to put a sock in it. I actually think it's kind of the opposite of how things are with my T: she tells me she's frustrated and I'm sort of insensitive to that. But I'm planning to try to be more sensitive.
I'm actually realizing, I think, that the reason Miss Honey and so many others want me to leave Ellen is that I've been unconsciously feeding them reasons to believe that, because it's a lot easier for me to think that she's messed up and I should leave (I keep wanting people to convince me of that, because it would solve my problem, at least till the next Ellen came along) than to believe that I'm the one who's "messed up." This is my current thinking. Unfortunately, it sounds an awful lot like something Ellen told me a few months ago, which infuriated me. I hate admitting that she might have been right.
I appreciate your thoughts always, gg.
poster:crushedout
thread:343415
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/343870.html