Posted by gardenergirl on April 25, 2004, at 22:43:47
In reply to Re: New here -- gratitude (longish) » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on April 25, 2004, at 17:52:02
First, I should say that my T is very psychodynamic if not analytic. He really doesn't offer advice or specific help. We work on expressing and understanding my emotions in the context of my childhood and current patterns. So I am dependent on him for helping me to feel better about myself, but not for any specific actions or advice.
Well, I admitted to him that I had wanted to call him with some good news once. Something I would normally do with family and friends. Except my family (parents, mainly) would not have validated my happiness. They just don't get it. Wanting to call him made me realize I had developed a transference. Also, when I went on vacation over Christmas break, I found myself getting more depressed. I went 3-4 weeks without a session, and I think that was a big part of it.
Admitting this to him was really difficult for me. In fact, I had to take off my glasses because I was crying, but also that way I couldn't really see his face. That made it easier. He responded so beautifully! He said he was glad to see I was breaking through my defenses in admitting that I needed him. This was a sign that I was on my way to becoming my authentic true self. Since then, it really feels okay to lean on him for awhile. And to admit things I would otherwise be ashamed of or scared to talk about.
As time progresses, I find, though, that even though I have an urge to call him at times, (when I am especially frazzled or feeling really good), I can wait until my session. I am learning, I think, to contain things myself rather than have him help me contain them.
Hope this makes sense...
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:339818
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/340002.html