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Another perspective obSession

Posted by Racer on April 4, 2004, at 19:35:18

In reply to who has hugged there T's? or anything else?, posted by obSession on April 4, 2004, at 17:26:13

You wrote:

"its so strange as in every day life its the most natural and normal thing, yet in therapy it becomes a "thing" like wowwwwwww a hug!"

That's only one perspective -- for me, a hug is usually a big deal no matter what the circumstances. In social settings, where everyone expects hugs, I steel myself to hug and be hugged. When my former-semi-step-kids were young, I had to 'train' them not to kiss me on the lips, that kissing on the cheek was way more comfortable for me. (Although, with the kids, physical contact was a lot more comfortable for me. They were little cuddle bugs when they were little, and that was Right in some way.) Those social occasions where everyone is so huggy are always uncomfortable for me.

Some of that is upbringing, of course. The Proper Greeting I grew up with, amongst adult equals, was the kiss on each cheek -- often a token buss without real contact. The other acceptable greetings were a kiss on the hand from a man, and a hand-clasp with slight curtsey from a girl-child to any respected adult. With that to compare to, you can probably see why hugging isn't a big part of my social life, right?

And no, I've never had any physical contact with any therapist. I don't even like it when they touch my shoulder on the way out.

(Doesn't mean I don't periodically fantasize about Dr EyeCandy, but that's a whole 'nother story. And that's usually one of those splits: either it's 'him' and sexual -- meaning it's a sexual fantasy where my partner just looks a bit like him; or it's HIM, himself, and it's more about getting deeper into the non-relevant conversations we surf over in his office. (Things like books, animals, his relatives, science, etc.) So, it's not even really wanting to cross the line with him, just a deep desire for conversation outside the boundaries imposed by the office visits.

Hope that sheds some light for you.


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