Posted by spoc on April 4, 2004, at 15:01:59
In reply to Re: was my messge too long?, posted by platinumbride on April 4, 2004, at 14:03:30
> ...Maybe I will try to get down to his office instead of blabbering away on the phone and becoming frustrated and pissed at what seems to be a more "psychodynamic" approach, as fallsfall put it. >
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Hi again,I agree that discussing methodology is imperative. When I recently made an attempt to start therapy, I didn't ask about the doc's beliefs and practices. In the end it turned out to have been classic analysis, which was (especially given his particular application) the polar opposite of what I had wanted.
I felt a lot of upset at how things were going before he finally stopped deflecting my attempts to sort it out, and came close to admitting that his method wasn't at all what I had said I was looking for. While I hadn't asked him at our first meeting if he practiced what I was interested in, I had made myself 110% clear by sending an inquiry letter in advance, to which he responded with a call saying "Yes, I can help with all those things." And I repeated all those things when I went in, and proceeded throughout as one who obviously had been expecting those things. I take responsibility for not being a more assertive consumer, but he really should have told me he didn't carry the product I was shopping for! There were at least three things I specified were key to me, and his methods concerning all three of those things turned out to be the opposite... several thousands of dollars and attempts at clarification later.
So yes, discussing methodology is *key.* At least your feelings about the treatment you've been getting are along the lines of "inane;" I wish mine were that benign. I hadn't tried many things, so wanted to start with something that would absolutely identify the negative but focus on the positive, and on baby-step actions, which I was coming up with myself to no response. But with no warning, what I was receiving ranged from a total void to hunting only for the negative. It made me feel nauseous assuming for months that that must be all there was to see in me, despite a previous history of good self esteem in some of those areas -- which I couldn't afford to lose as well. He wouldn't clue me in even when he could see how much this simple failure to clarify his methods vs. those I had asked for was devastating me.
SORRY! You are way beyond needing to sort things out on that level with your current doc. This bitterness just has a way of still seeping out of me, even though in my heart I think I have put it in perspective that it was just a bad fit and he is only one of thousands/millions out there. I truly do not mean to knock all therapists or even analysts whatseover. (EEEK! Maybe I should have started a new thread!) : )
poster:spoc
thread:329376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/332531.html