Posted by tinydancer on March 30, 2004, at 15:06:47
In reply to I cried today, posted by Karen_kay on March 30, 2004, at 12:49:16
Karen, I really empathize with you here because of the fact I also suffer from paralyzing empathy and also, being a non-crier. If I cry, people start to freak out.
The group session sounds incredibly promising though. I would have lashed out at the person who made that underhand comment about taking the homeless out to eat. Nasty! People can get so defensive in group....
I understand your grieving about the homeless people really well. I think that it must be incredibly painful because no one is there to validate your feelings about it. I am in a position where I am constantly wanting to help other people-financially and emotionally-but I'm actually really poor and live off sick leave pay. And the idea of me being able to help anyone emotionally is a hilarious joke, I'm so wrung out with social anxiety that it would take a cupful of Valium to get me out the door in the first place. But that doesn't stop me from feeling this very strong desire to help and take care of the weak.
I like what Bubba said. Does it bother you that your deep empathy could be only a reflection of your own deepest unmet needs? But I don't think its as simple as that. Don't you think part of empathy is simply being a finely tuned person...Being able to sense things a lot of other people don't sense...Feeling the atmosphere, the vibrations around you (Am I getting too new age on you??) and sensing the pain of others because of your hypersensitivity to your own condition? To me, this is often a gift. It can also be very painful, when things like what happened to you with the homeless happened.
I understand your point of view here, and I want you to stop trying to validate how you feel-I think when you let go of trying to control or dictate your inner feelings and soul (being an empathic person who cares deeply and feels deeply) you might be able to take a deep breath and relax somewhat in the knowledge that being empathetic is a good thing.Lord knows that I've experienced how awful it can be...Nights spent crying and paralyzed because of some ARTICLE I read....Bursting out into tears on the street and sobbing for a mother getting out of the car and following her young blind son to the store....It makes you feel sometimes so angry, to be so vulnerable...But there is also beauty in that...I feel that way, anyway...I can see something that not everyone can see....Try to remember that.
And that you will NEVER run out of chances to help people or make a difference.
poster:tinydancer
thread:330352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/330386.html