Posted by lonelygirl on March 24, 2004, at 17:40:42
In reply to resonating like a gong! » Fallen4myT, posted by Racer on March 24, 2004, at 16:06:48
Mine was also assigned to me (sort of) -- I didn't pick him out.
The reason I ask about age is that I sort of consider myself young and foolish. It's not entirely about age, but also about social maturity, where my equivalent age is approximately 12. I feel like it is a silly school-girl crush, which is why I tend to imagine others who feel that way about their therapists as being on the younger side as well. I can't really imagine my mother, for example, having a crush on her doctor. I sort of assumed that this kind of thing subsides with age and maturity, but I have been wrong!
Also, I have the same kind of attraction to older and unavailable guys a lot (I think it is a lot deeper with my psychologist because I actually have A relationship with him -- not just one of admiration from a distance). When I take a class, for example, if there is a young-ish (under 40) professor or TA who is reasonably likable, I will usually end up with a crush on him within a few weeks. Even if there is a good-looking guy my age sitting right next to me. I always thought that this was because I have never been able to get a real boyfriend, and I figured that if I DO get a real boyfriend (one who is age-appropriate and not married), that I will stop getting crushes on these unavailable guys. I still have yet to test this hypothesis, though.
I also think it is interesting how married people get feelings for their therapists. I think that I have a way of "looking" for guys to like -- a half-conscious habit of scanning the guys I meet for "crushability" (for lack of a better word). I imaging -- though again, I have never had the opportunity to test this hypothesis -- that if I had a real relationship, I would not go "looking" for other guys to like, and in fact, I would probably intentionally try not to like other guys. This is not to accuse married people of intentionally falling in love with their therapists, because of course even if you don't do it on purpose, it can still "happen."
poster:lonelygirl
thread:326708
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/327846.html