Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Questions about transference » lonelygirl

Posted by spoc on March 21, 2004, at 2:44:23

In reply to Re: Questions about transference » spoc, posted by lonelygirl on March 19, 2004, at 22:25:53

Ahhh, so easy to be objective about other people's stuff, right? So don't quote me to myself later! ;- )

> Well, I wasn't exactly cooperative with the "talk" part of it. Actually, I wasn't cooperative with the meds part, either -- but it is easier to pretend I am than fight about it. I guess I am less concerned about that than about the fact that everyone seems to think that they are going to throw pills at me for the rest of my life and somehow that will (and already does) make everything ok. It really did make me disillusioned about everything, because I determined that nobody really listened/understood/cared about what my real problems were, and didn't have any real answers to offer me. I have continued to have this perception of all psychologists and psychiatrists, up to and including my mandatory counseling at school. Despite my initial resistance, though, this guy (my current psychologist) actually seemed like he "got" it, and what he said actually seemed to make sense .>

Maybe getting anything out of this stuff is like finally succeeding at quitting smoking or losing weight: your “time just comes??” Have you ever really felt like it was the right time for *you* yet, or has it all felt like something you had to do for your parents or some “authority?” You're giving your current doc more to work with than you have anyone else, and maybe it’s not only that you have a crush on him, but that the chemistry is finally right in other important ways. The relief of someone "getting it" may have helped trigger the crush. Probably worth sticking around, especially if you already know you get other things out of it besides the proximity to him! And you may also have found that you can simply relate better to a young-ish therapist. Many others in a campus setting may feel less stagnant (or whatever) to you too. The biggest reason to think it could be different this time may be that you are trying it away from your parent's town, their oversight of your therapy experiences, and the negative associations with that. Maybe it’s a great thing that you got in trouble and could find out!

> So... Does he probably know that I "love" him? I mean, he is young (somewhere around 30, give or take a couple years), intelligent, and nice. I can't possibly be the first one to feel this way about him. I assume, then, that there is a reason he is basically ignoring the whole issue.
>Unfortunately, I think the more I tell him, the crazier he realizes I am. Might he get mad at me, either for not taking the meds or for lying about it? >

He’s not someone who jumps in anywhere and simply demands/monitors healthy behaviors, he’s the one who helps you figure out how to get to them! Why not add one more different factor to the better mix you have this time, and try not to consciously filter what you say to him so much? I doubt he’s really ignoring your feelings for him, he may not know how much of an issue this is for you. But he's surely prepared to discuss such things and there's no aberration here. About the meds, he may have wanted to reevaluate that using his own resources anyway – it’s not like what went before has helped you. Or was ever even *based* on you, since you never assisted in making sure the fit was the best possible! Try not to worry, the bottom line is that therapists know they're often dealing with people who need more time to build trust, and who may therefore even have cut some corners earlier in the process with them. If you're straightforward you can always know you did your part, whatever the outcome is.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:spoc thread:323332