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Re: Questions about transference Tancred62

Posted by DaisyM on March 19, 2004, at 14:51:42

In reply to Re: Questions about transference, posted by Tancred62 on March 19, 2004, at 9:47:28

>>> think the relationship, and therefore its effects on me, would inevitably be nullified by the intrinsic dynamic between men and woman when they become intimate. I don't see how any real therapy would result. Which brings me full circle to the problem when the patient and the therapist try to use intimacy as a way to healing or improvement. Is there a happy medium?

<<<Maybe the issue is with your definition of the word "intimate." It sounds to me like your are thinking of intimate as being sexually loaded or stimulating somehow. Which can happen and as this thread shows, does. But I think many of us have developed "intimate" relationships with our Therapist without sexual overtones.

I am a woman in my 40s with a male Therapist who is slightly older than I am. (I've been in therapy for 10months.) I do not have romantic feelings for him. He describes our relationship as "intense" and he has encouraged an attachment because trusting is one of my key issues. As I have grown attached to him, I've been able to share more with him. I feel completely safe, and I do not worry that the male/female dynamic will change or endanger the work we are doing.

Maybe we've found that medium, but I think I have to give credit to my Therapist's professionalism and his experience. Everytime I want to run away from "our" relationship, he insists on holding it up to the light, talking about what is happening between us and clarifying what he is feeling and what it means for my therapy. I think he genuinely cares and I think he likes being a Therapist, which comes through in how he treats his clients. I think he uses intimacy as a healing tool by converting it to trust, which is the only way to get some of these issues up and out. And I think he offers support in which ever way is needed during that session, or the time in-between.

Therapy is one of the hardest things I've ever put myself through. If I didn't have the Therapist I do, or one who uses his approach, I can tell you I would not still be in it. I wish everyone's first experience was the same as mine.




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