Posted by Karen_kay on March 12, 2004, at 6:32:34
In reply to Re: This blew my mind » mair, posted by Fallen4myT on March 11, 2004, at 21:55:15
I don't think Mair meant it that way dear. (Although I certainly can't speak for Mair, of course)... But, I think that from what I can see is that Mair didn't want to foster any type of hopes for this scenario to occur, as some professionals regard it as unethical (even if he waited 2 years). And I'm certain that if many of his female clients knew, they may be quite upset, as they could see him as "looking for a date" while giving therapy, which is not a good impression to have. Now, I don't necessarily agree that's what happened but outside people looking in don't know the circumstances behind the therapist's relationship with the client.
I really doubt Mair wants you to not express your opiniion. But, I can't speak for Mair again and I don't mean to step on any toes (fingers?) here, but please do feel free to express your views.
You know what really helped me out when dealing with transference? I kept thiking, "If I had to make a choice between having him as a lover or a therapist, which would I choose?" Of course I'd choose Bubba as a therapist because he's a darn good one. Besides, I couldn't bear to think of the consequences of any sexual actions we could possibly take. Not only would it destroy everything he worked so hard for, I'd be missing out on a very good therapist. It helped to continually think of things that way. Instead of thinking of the fantasy, I started thinking about the reality of a relationship with Bubba, and it didn't seem so pleasant.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:323384
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323494.html