Posted by tinydancer on March 12, 2004, at 1:56:56
In reply to Re: terrics -- may I ask some ?? about SI? » Racer, posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 15:25:26
Hi Terrics. I am dumb here, I didn't pick up earlier that you SI. I'm in a good period now but I'm also a self injurer. I used to be a cutter but I prefer burning now since everyone assumes a burn is an accident. That way I don't have to worry about hiding it.
I don't talk to my T either much about the self injuring. In my entire life, people who have seen my injuries react with disgust and anger, so I am fearful of anyone finding out. My T was the first one to show any sort of understanding and gentleness when he saw my burns. I will never, ever forget it.
I think its a difficult place to be in, because sometimes I worry about talking to my T about it as well. I don't want to start self injuring just to get attention from him. That would be really bad and start a very dangerous problem.
So you started when you were 9? I started when I was 14. I think its so strange because at that time no one knew what it was and thought it was just bizarre and sadomasochistic. I find it stunning that even today there is a total lack of understanding about SI and what it is.
I find being shamed by someone or being criticized is usually my reasons for SI. If I am hurt by someone I trust, I can't cope with it. I generally do not SI when I'm angry. It scares me, as terrics said, to post too much because I don't want to trigger anyone. I myself can be easily triggered and for example, can't read books or websites about it, its too overwhelming for me.
poster:tinydancer
thread:323072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323469.html