Posted by mair on March 11, 2004, at 18:13:10
In reply to Re: In a Quandary (disjointed grumbling) » mair, posted by Dinah on March 11, 2004, at 9:44:05
I saw my T today and was able to talk to her about alot of what I wrote. She told me I was right of schedule to want to terminate since I've been so blocked lately. I've been seeing her for 4 years I think and she and I both know that this is such a slow process for me and that if I stick it out to get to where we'd both like me to be, it's probably going to be years more. This used to horrify me more than it does now, although occasionally I'm still pretty horrified by the fact that things are so slow with me. Last fall I was faced with the prospect of losing my mental health benefits, and I realized how scary that is to me. I know that I'll be faced with this again every fall when my office renews its medical insurance. I think it's given me a sense of urgency about therapy, but hasn't helped to speed up the process at all.
I get to a place where things get difficult and I start to feel resistant, and I tend to think that I've gotten as far as I can go. She sees me struggle and has the confidence that I can get through this because I've come so far. Maybe this is the glass half empty and half full.
I don't know - she thinks we should analyze the resistance - I guess that seems a safer place to go rather than for me to obsess about all the things I can't say.
What was abundantly clear to me is that I could raise some of these things with her because I wrote about them here first, and got such great responses. I always feel that I express myself so much better in writing, and I'm not very spontaneous - I like to have things figured out before I talk about them or at least I like to have figured out a way to talk about them. I haven't been doing it alot here or anywhere.
This has all just been a useful reminder of what a wonderfully supportive place this can be and how valuable participation can be.
Mair
PS - Fallsfall - I want to respond more specifically to some of what you raised, but I've got to think about things first - are you sure you don't have a degree in clinical psychology?
poster:mair
thread:323114
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323336.html