Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
I had my last individual session with Bubba yesterday. I brought brownies and muffins, though he told me not too. I must admit, I did ask him what he liked and that's why he told me not to bother with that, as we had stuff to discuss. Well, he had juice out because he said he knew I'd bring something anyway. And to think I was just going to eat them in front of him. The nerve of me...
So, I was Soooo very honest, I swear I thought lightening might strike me dead. But, it didn't. And I was sincere, something very rare for me. I talked aobut the nightmares and he suggested they have to do with my fear of losing control, esp. with my dx. And I talked aobut my boyfriend, and said that I care aobut him and that we'll work things out. He has been trying very hard to work on his issues, as have I. And I talked aobut my father and the fact that I'm not angry with him. I'm angry that I allow his actions to affect me the way they do. And I talked aobut Bubba. I told him that he's a great therapist and in a few years, he'll be even better. And we talked about group.....
About group: I'm going. He explained that this group is a way to talk aobut my "father" issues, if I choose to. He also FINALLY said he understood why I wouldn't want to and that's fine too. that maybe we can table those for a while and if they become too intense then he can swoop me back up for individual, with the permission of his supervisor. And in group, I can work on my relationships with both men and women. And try to form emotional attachments (right, I see that happening.) He made me feel very comfortable with going to group, and he said he thinks it is my best option. He also said, he would have switched me to group a while back, if he had the choice... What does that mean? Maybe he was just trying to make me feel good about the whole thing? Maybe he doesn't like me? Maybe I smell foul? I'll never know, but will be sure to wear extra perfume when I attend group..
Overall, this was the BEST session ever invented... I can beat all of your good sessions with this one, promise! I won't see him for 2 weeks and then it's in group and for some reason I don't feel upset or sad. I feel wonderful. And it feels wonderful to know that if I am having a hard time, he will be able to take me back, one on one for a while. That make sthe difference. I did ask him though, if he'd be able to tell when I wasn't feeling well (as I'm accustomed to hiding it, and hiding it well)... He said, "Of course I will. I know you better than you think."
Hey guys, maybe I'm getting better? What do you think? Actually, I'm sure of it. I feel wonderful! And even if group stinks, I'm certain I'll still learn from it. I'm looking forward to group (did I just say that???)
poster:Karen_kay
thread:322814
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/322814.html