Posted by Crooked Heart on February 8, 2004, at 5:58:02
In reply to Our Right Hemispheres, posted by Pfinstegg on February 8, 2004, at 2:54:12
Hi Pfinstegg
Thanks for that summary. Now I don't have to read the books:)
It wasn't till I was 48 and three years into therapy that I realised just how much that fear was at the core of my life. (I'd always known that I was too anxious about things, can I do this job etc., but that was a different level of fear.) Anyhow, I'd always lived and felt, without realising it, as though I was on a narrow ledge 20 ft down a sheer cliff, with the rock on one side and a bottomless abyss on the other and I must hang on tight *all the time*.
What happened in therapy was that the picture shifted and the sheer cliff became the flat solid ground safely beneath my feet, if you see what I mean. So now life may throw its normal unavoidable crap at me, but there isn't this huge irrational profound terror that was always there, but almost unrecognised (just as well!)
The picture of maternal neglect (I think my mother was probably very depressed amongst other things)and paternal abuse (emotional certainly, but I can't remember a thing from before age 5) fits the bill pretty well.
I think I'm just trying to say that the idea of psychological-neurological damage and repair seems pretty plausible. Sorry, I can't produce any MRI scans as evidence, but I bet my amygdala is a lot cooler, in every sense, than it used to be :). Also that the repair takes time but maybe it gets its own momentum. Also that it's not too late even when you're really, really old, like 53. (I sometimes feel like Grandma around here :))
Thanks again for that fascinating post.
poster:Crooked Heart
thread:310812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/310820.html