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Found the puns

Posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2004, at 16:10:50

In reply to Sounds like a deal » Racer, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:21:48

For Daisy and her kids:
Subject: Parodies on our language

-Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

-A backward poet writes inverse.

-A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

-Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

-Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

-Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

-A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

-Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

-Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

-Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

-When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

-A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

-What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

-In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

-She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

-A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

-If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

-With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

-When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

-The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

-You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

-Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

-He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

-Every calendar's days are numbered.

-A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

-A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

-He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

-A plateau is a high form of flattery.

-A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

-Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

-Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

-Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

-Acupuncture is a jab well done

 

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poster:gardenergirl thread:307608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/307816.html