Posted by Medusa on January 31, 2004, at 5:47:35
In reply to My Session, posted by Elle2021 on January 30, 2004, at 22:53:51
> *At this point I want to cancel all of my therapy sessions with both of them.*
>So ... why not do it?
> I feel like Burt lied. I feel abandoned.He did! - You are, in a way!
> Somebody help.Okay Elle, this might not feel comfy, but what about a tough-as-nails therapist who would be clear and open about +not+ "being there for you" in the way your previous therapists have tried to be? What about a therapist who doesn't lie to you, who tells you difficult things straight to your face with confidence that you can handle it? Someone who validates the pain you feel at this, and pushes you to move through it? A therapist who only wants to hear as much of your past stories as s/he can use to help you find future solutions?
I wasted soooooo many years with pdocs and talk therapists (and with being bounced between them and them talking to each other and letting things slip to me) that I'm very relieved to have found solutions-oriented therapists. There are quite a few different variations of this approach. One I'm reading about now is described in books by Bert Hellinger. The guy is harsh, sometimes almost crude, and he says things that are horridly simplistic while knowing that you need more context. Yet something about his take is tremendously empowering. (I'm +not+ recommending use of his methods exclusively ... I think if I'd read his books before I'd read lots of others, I'd run screaming, but it could be worth taking a look in the library.)
Elle, I hear your cry for help. I think I've been in a place similar to where you've been. I wish I'd given myself credit for my reactions, I wish I'd validated my own feelings of betrayal and abandonment. The harsh reality is that no therapist is on your side, ever. They became therapists for their own emotional and financial motivations, and that's what dominates. So you've got to find a therapist who'll at least be open and honest about this very real facet of their work, and who will help you to find the help you need. You're strong, Elle. What you are is good. Please trust yourself first of all, and please think hard about who else you choose to trust.
poster:Medusa
thread:307576
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/307626.html