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Re: A Long Time » fallsfall

Posted by Crooked Heart on January 27, 2004, at 6:24:40

In reply to Re: A Long Time » DaisyM, posted by fallsfall on January 25, 2004, at 9:40:20

Hi fallsfall

>...It feels anarchical. It is not that he has the control and I don't - it feels like NOONE has control.
>
> I would prefer him to have control over anarchy - then at least *someone* is minding the store.

Well it's your LIFE you're talking about here. It's just utterly *terrifying* to feel something might spin out of control. There was one idea I found helped with my panic about this. Your therapist provides the boundaries, the frame, the skills etc and sure, you might have to think and find out about what's happening and maybe there are "mind exercises" that help. But there might also be a part of your therapy that's like a seed that's been planted, and there was no name on the packet it came in -- you don't know whether it's flower, vegetable, tree, even. You don't know how it grows, how long it takes, you can't plan it, you can't force it to grow. So you and your therapist just have to watch the plant begin growing, feed and water it when it seems to need it, put it in the sun or shade whichever it seems to prefer. Mostly you just have to admire how beautiful it is!

Hope that's not too fanciful to be useful. It helped me sometimes, but I should add a "health warning": I have a vested interest in believing that idea because I have Olympic gold medals for laziness and can watch paint dry, no problem, never mind plants growing :)


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poster:Crooked Heart thread:304828
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/305932.html