Posted by fallsfall on January 21, 2004, at 11:12:03
In reply to Re: marital troubles and therapy angst » lookdownfish, posted by judy1 on January 21, 2004, at 11:02:53
My husband dutifully went to individual therapy (and the 4 of us met together half a dozen times). He dutifully went to couple's therapy. He went because I asked him to, but he was really just waiting for the problems to disappear. He was shocked when I left him. I wish my story had a happier ending, and that I had some foolproof advice for you.
"The Dance of Anger" might be a helpful book for the two of you to read. Maybe you could read it outloud together and talk about it. The book really isn't about anger - it is about how relationships have a balance, and when one person shifts their position, the other has to shift as well. If your "working on it by yourselves" could encorporate the structure of going through that book, your efforts might have more direction. The book might also help your husband to see that it is necessary for him to make changes - that just waiting things out won't solve the problem.
I found this book after I left my husband, so I didn't try this. I wish you the best of luck, and hope that your love for each other can let you grow together.
poster:fallsfall
thread:303590
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/303715.html