Posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2004, at 19:01:56
In reply to Re: Is this Transference? PANDABEAR, posted by Catmom on January 13, 2004, at 2:01:29
> Pandabear, I have a little theory (which is probably not unique to me) that we all have a melange of transference/projection/countertranference issues in the normal business of going about daily life.
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I absolutely agree. Did you ever dislike someone for no reason you could think of? Who knows what was going on there? My T said to me that when people are together, their two unconciouses "talk" to each other. This makes a great deal of sense to me. I think a good example is how you can feel an instant connection with someone, even though they are not saying or doing anything much different than someone you do not connect with so readily.And, I had a "bad father" tranasference with my last supervisor. Once I figured it out, I laughed a bit to myself, but it explained how I felt so criticized by her all the time that I started to really hate her.
> On the other hand, the T has had training about how to manage transference/countertransference. I doubt that there are many Ts who can go home at the end of the day and NEVER think about a patient.
As a trainee in clinical psychology, I can tell you, I always seem to think about my clients when away from the office. I can't help it. Their issues, personalities, and our interactions in therapy are so thought-provoking. And I learn so much from them. I used to worry that this meant I was "too engaged" with my clients, but I now I realize it just means that I love what I do and I am continually stimulated by it. That can't be a bad thing.
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> It's important to be open and honest, even if it feels humiliating. Especially since you view your T as "an amazing therapist and very smart and trustworthy".My own experience with a client opening up to me and talking about his transference was a wonderful learning experience. I could tell what he was so desperately trying to say, and I was hurting so much for him about how difficult it was to say it. But I felt like I needed to let him say it. That his ability to trust me was more important than my making it easier for him. And it definitely added a great deal of trust and empathy to the therapy relationship for us both to process it open and non-judgementally.
So to anyone struggling with this: I encourage you to try to talk to a trusted T about it, even if it feels terribly scary. It IS difficult, but often very helpful.
Of course, I can't say that I have talked with my own T about a transference yet. But I am not aware of one. He's hinting and providing opportunities to bring it up. So, I can resonate with both aspects of the dilemma.
Good luck and take care,
g
poster:gardenergirl
thread:299191
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300369.html