Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2003, at 9:11:03
In reply to Dinah...my next appt., posted by naiad on December 21, 2003, at 6:24:21
Perhaps he's giving some cooling off time by not calling you. This is just me, but I wouldn't terminate right before the holidays. It's a stressful enough time as it is. :( That's why I was surprised he decided to be so aggressive in challenging you at this particular time, and assume it must have been one of those bad moves they occasionally make and we all regret.
I have to warn you though. You're probably not going to get some of what you want. That's in no way suggesting you shouldn't bring it up with him, as it can lead to a fruitful discussion of what's important to you and why. But my own non-analytic therapist doesn't really give compliments. I'm relatively certain an analytic one would explore your wishes rather than gratify them. Is that your experience with him?
Not being terribly analytic, my therapist gratifies some of my wishes, but not the ones for compliments or to be admired.
You said your therapist was perfect until the other night. I'd really explore what's going on before terminating. Well, no. I'd terminate it then regret it horribly and beg to come back. That's what I did maybe five? times over the course of therapy. I don't really recommend it. :(
Can you try to get some of the worst of your fears and hurts soothed before the holidays and wait till after the holidays to explore for possible miscommunications and incorrect assumptions on both sides?
I understand you're angry. I definitely understand, unfortunately. But I've found that working through the anger and hurt was a revelation to me, given my history and childhood. He can be angry with me, and still our relationship can survive. Perhaps even more shockingly, I can be angry with him, and still our relationship can survive.
poster:Dinah
thread:291761
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031221/msgs/292082.html