Posted by Waterlily on December 2, 2003, at 18:34:37
I've been in therapy for 2 1/2 years, mostly every other week, sometimes longer intervals, rarely shorter. Most of the time I have a dialogue with my therapist or she'll just sit and listen. I was 8 weeks into a depression when I saw her last time (three weeks ago). I saw my pdoc, started a new medication, had 10 days of severe anxiety and mental because of the new med, and kicked both the severe anxiety and depression, all since I last saw my therapist (she was on vacation when I was in the worst part of the anxiety). That was a lot and I told her all about it, including my fear that I would lose control of myself and do myself in against my will. I was also terribly afraid that I'd end up in a psychiatric hospital (never been, but my sis-in-law is severely manic-depressive and just spent three weeks in the hospital). She said very little and wrote a lot. I always wonder what she's thinking when she writes like that. There were plenty of opportunities where she could have jumped in, even a few very long and uncomfortable breaks in my monologue. Does anyone know what they write in your chart?
She did ask me about what I was taking medication wise (300 mg of Wellbutrin and 100 mg of Luvox) and told me that she should have suggested seeing my pdoc for a different medication last time she saw me, but she had written that I did not seem to be depressed. When I told her that part of the reason I requested Luvox from my pdoc is because I thought I tended to be obsessive in that I have a one-track mind. She said that she agreed that I did tend to be that way. But...This summer when I told her that I was annoyed that I kept thinking about a certain thing (my vision that was and is still messed up because of LASIK). I told her that I thought it might be a good thing that I was obsessed because it brought about action. She agreed with me at that time that perhaps the obsession was a good thing. She never said anything negative about it. Now she's saying that she agrees with me that I tend to obsess and that breaking that would be good for me. Seems like she agrees with everything I say to her, except if it's something bad about myself.
So I'm wondering what the deal is with her. Is she a wimp? Why does she agree with me all the time? I can't be right that often. I know that she needs to elevate me in my mind and decrease her own stature so that I will not look to her for all of the answers, rather, I'll look to myself instead. Maybe she's going too far because I wonder if she's really that good if I can know more than her.
poster:Waterlily
thread:286045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286045.html