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Re: My Revelation » cubic_me

Posted by fallsfall on October 21, 2003, at 8:36:21

In reply to Re: My Revelation » fallsfall, posted by cubic_me on October 21, 2003, at 5:20:27

Yummmmm

My therapist isn't too concerned about ADLs (eating, sleeping, cleaning etc.). My old therapist spent a lot of time with me on ADLs. I think that some of MY concern is because she taught me that I should worry about this. Perhaps I don't do well with ADLs because it guaranteed me concern and attention from her.

My new therapist IS more concerned with the underlying things. He wants to spend time on those - instead of ADLs. I think his focus is correct.

We did talk about my dog and the toilet in the last session. And I told him that feeling incompetent was what made me "need" him. This was new information for me - I don't know if it was new for him. Then there were only 10 minutes left in the session, so I told him a bunch of things that I haven't had time to talk about (like I got more information from my parents about my hospitalization for Meningitis at age 2, and why I won't make eye contact with him). I've been saving these things up and I know that he needs to know about them - but I never have time to tell him. At the end he made a comment about how the historical stuff is interesting and important (and he wants to talk more about the hospitalization), but that he really wants to focus on "affect" in the sessions. Maybe he's frustrated that he couldn't make me cry in the last two sessions. Seriously, I know that he is right - that I learn the most when we do the "affect" thing. I guess that I'm confused about how important my revelations are - do we make more progress if I DON'T know what is going on underneath? Or is it important for me to know, but not something we should take up session time for (if that is the case, then how do I know if my revelations are on target or not)? Or should I talk about them, but not in so much detail? See? He makes me feel incompetent - after almost 9 years of therapy (granted, only 3 months with him) I still don't know what I'm supposed to talk about and what I'm not. Maybe I should whip myself into a tizzy about this (not knowing what to talk about) - then he'd get his "affect" on Thursday.

I do know that I'm not being fair to myself. I did know what my old therapist considered important and unimportant. This guy is looking for something completely different - and that is why I switched therapists. So, I am doing better - I can recognize when I'm being too hard on myself and that does makes me feel less incompetent. Isn't that what we are working towards? But then again, if I feel less incompetent then I won't have the affect that he's looking for. Do you see why I'm confused? It's like, in order to get better I have to not be better.

 

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poster:fallsfall thread:271255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/271396.html