Posted by Adia on October 15, 2003, at 23:55:28
In reply to How Do you Start each session?, posted by DaisyM on October 15, 2003, at 23:25:44
Hi Daisy,Thank you for sharing....
You are not the only one!
I find it really hard to start my sessions, and I sometimes waste 20 minutes to try to (find the courage to) say something from my heart.
I often just look at her and take a deep breath and expect her to ask me something or help me start but I know she wants me to be the one to choose or say what I need instead of depending on her..sometimes she says how are you feeling and I say fine..and lately we end up laughing! because we both know that it isn't true or that I am just afraid to start talking. I sometimes tell her I am nervous..or she asks me what is right there in my heart at that moment...what I feel I need to say or share...
I have asked "How are you?" only a couple of times and she was pleased that at least I had tried to talk and changed what I always say...
I usually ask "Is everything okay?"..
If I feel brave I sometimes tell her what feels urgent in my heart..She tells me ..start small..choose a little thread...and I sometimes tell her..I felt an urgency in my heart or really wanted to be here...or I found it hard to get through the days ..and I feel relieved I am here...That is what I usually say...how I feel about being there...I find it really hard to talk...even though I know in my heart what I would like to share, I struggle to get the words out of my mouth and sometimes I can't.
It is good to refer to the last time.. I have told her.."I felt more hopeful after what we talked about .."or "there is something which hurt me about the last time"..
sometimes I just tell her I am afraid I won't be able to tell her what I want..Anything is okay as long as it helps to find a tiny thread to start...then it gets easier...
i find it hard to bring up a topic..but she reassures me it is ok..I definitely find it hard to start sessions and sometimes I just sit there out of breath and she has to help me breathe by saying 'there are no reasons to be afraid, take a deep breath...'.
:o) Just sharing...
wishing you the best,
Adia.
> Am I the only one who feels momentary awkwardness at the beginning of each session? Each time I have a hard time getting started, even though it doesn't last very long, I still feel weird. He usually says "How are you," I say "fine"...he raises an eye brow and we are off! :)
>
> Really though...I'm interested to hear how other folks start. As in, "last time, we talked about" or "today was terrible" or...Do you exchange greetings, "how was your weekend?"...?????
>
> I think it is a control thing (big surprise!) because I'm use to having people seek me out and let me know what they need.
poster:Adia
thread:269868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/269875.html