Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2003, at 10:09:35
In reply to Re: confused about what is good...may trigger*****, posted by jay on October 7, 2003, at 9:51:46
Well, since I've spent eight years with the same counselor, obviously I don't agree about the superior value of short term therapy. I put the poor guy through hell (ok Dr. Bob, you said I could say that) with minimal change for the first five years. Brief therapy would have been useless for me, because therapy for me *started* in year six. I tested him, I challenged him, I quit several times, I insulted him, I had him wondering if he shouldn't refer me out. And I am ever blessed that he didn't. Because his sticking with me for five years while I was a hellish client, and learning and growing as a therapist along the way. His letting me see how I affected him, in the most therapeutic and non-exploitive way possible. And most of all, almost all of all, his being there, session after session, getting mad, working things out, but overall treating me well even when he was angry and I was obnoxious, most of all JUST BEING THERE (I can't emphasize that enough) was what worked for me in therapy.
After five years he had earned my trust, and I started to work with him. If he had given in to his now admitted impulse to refer me out, it would have shattered my trust in future therapists forever. Instead, he tought me that trust doesn't always end in pain. Usually, but not always.
Social workers might not learn psychoanalysis, and they shouldn't. Psychoanalysts should. And today's psychoanalysts are unlikely to mention penis envy. But psychoanalysis still has it's place.
And my therapist isn't a psychoanalyst. But long term therapy was right for me. It wasn't harmful. It may have made him comfortable financially, but it wasn't a scam. I don't change quickly. I don't change easily. And short term therapies (by which I mean shorter than several years) wouldn't have made a dent.
But... everyone is different.
poster:Dinah
thread:265278
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/266314.html