Posted by JonW on September 30, 2003, at 12:43:57
In reply to How do you deal with death from a non religious, posted by jonh kimble on September 30, 2003, at 0:01:31
> perspective? The thought of someone dying who is close to me, or even myself just one day not existing, and every second I am drawing closer to that, is adding a ton to my already existing depression. I would really like to talk about this thanks. (Sorry, I didnt know if this belonged in the psychological or spiritual board)
Hi John,
Not to long ago I read the book "Plato Not Prozac" by Lou Marinoff. It's about philosophical counseling, and applying philosophy to everyday problems. I'll paste an excerpt concerning death that I found helpful.
--- QUOTE ---
McTaggart argued that there are two ways to conceive of time: the A-series and the B-series. In the A-series, every moment is either past, present, or future. Every past moment used to be a future moment and a present moment. Thus every moment has the property of being past, present, and future -- only at different times. But this is problematic since the terms past, present, and future already embody a conception of time. Now we need to understand how different points "in" time move "through" time. If we assert that past moments are finished, while future moments haven't yet started, then time dissolves into an evermoving present moment. As Chan points out, this isn't especially helpful for coming to terms with death -- it suggests that the present moment is all there is, and you need to be alive to experience it. When you're dead, your clock isn't ticking any more, so there's no time at all for you.By contrast, McTaggart's B-series takes a relational view of time: it asserts that every moment happens either before or after every other moment. When one thing has happened before another, then the things happen in this order for all time; the order of events cannot be altered by time's passage. Thus all events in a B-series are forever fixed in terms of their relation to other events. As Chan points out, this implies a sense of endurance or permanence, a kind of record that cannot be obliterated by subsequent events. If one's life is viewed in just that way, it becomes a thread in the tapestry of the B-series. Even when your life ends, it can never "unhappen." All events, including those of your life, are somehow preserved in the B-series of time. You have a slice of immortality -- and even a thin slice is better than none.
Chan finds this notion very comforting to dying people who do not believe in an afterlife but who cannot easily face the prospect of oblivion. No one lives forever, but one's life is preserved forever in the B-series. Although not everyone is philosophical enough to see how this can make a difference, in Chan's experience with terminally ill patients, it sometimes makes all the difference in the world. People come to better tems with dying when they see that although death ends life, it does not erase a lifetime. And of course you don't need to be at death's door to appreciate that your life is a sequence of events and that even though that sequence may have a final event, the whole isn't obliterated by that event. This is a way of conceptualizing the lasting meaning and impact of your life on the world without relying on belief in a soul that exists outside the physical limits of the body.
--- END QUOTE ---I don't know if that was helpful at all... but I thought I'd share it with you just in case!
Take care,
Jon :)
poster:JonW
thread:264374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/264495.html