Posted by pixygoth on September 24, 2003, at 15:18:33
In reply to Reposting from psycho-babble., posted by zarathustra on September 22, 2003, at 21:01:03
Zarathustra -
I totally empathise with you - I was the kid who always got As...
then in my third year at uni (two years ago) my depression (which I have been aware of since I was so young I can't remember) got worse, I started to drop grades, and worst of all I don't know if it's the depression,. or the anti-depressant drugs (Effexor... and I'm coming off it) or just a natural intellectual burnout that happens when you pass adolescence.
I got through Uni (and got a 2:1 ... good, but not satisfying - I wanted a first, dammit, and might have got it...)Anyway my point is that although it makes me feel bigheaded and pompous to say it (and it will you too I imagine) I agree that properly intelligent people should be able to see how horrible the world is. If they say "it's the illness", it makes me feel like I don't want to get better - If I do and then feel okay, I'll surely feel guilty about not recognising the badness in the world.
Anyway, to not let this whole post be about the paradox of how horrible life is, lets get to Nietzsche... (ho ho)
I love him... I think he was massively depressed, but was pig-headed enough to be really ANGRY about it overall. And thus although he couldn't get happy, he pushed and pushed at life and society etc. and kept himself occupied with his anger (and intelligent anger it was too...)
Did you know that Nietzsche dismissed Schopenhauer's claims to be depressive by saying that a man who played the flute and owned a little dog couldn't be that miserable? That sums up his bitter, black-humour kind of thinking to me. Keep in with the philosophy, cos although it looks nasty to start with, it all links together to show you a transcendant level of consideration - Wittgenstein on Religion, for example is very good and helped me to overcome my 'hatred' of Christianity....
As to your worry about Dexedrine - take it if it makes you feel better. Lots more people have taken that than e.g. Effexor.(that is the sideeffects are better doc'd and so on) And legal drugs e.g. ALCOHOL kill loads of people - illegal ones like cannabis can have no fatalities at all. I say these things to help you demolish the "pharmaceutical/street" dichotomy in your head... (After all, see Kant on the trouble with black and white distinctions!)
As to feeling good while things are bad - as I said I sympathise. But physiologically feeling okay with intellectual misgivings is better than feeling shitty in all ways, right? At least you can still maintain the awareness of injustice etc. in the world, and won't become one of the ignorantly happy.
Hope to see you posting soon,
S
poster:pixygoth
thread:262516
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/262984.html