Posted by fallsfall on September 6, 2003, at 18:28:51
In reply to Re: I ticked off T. He sais he will NEVER see me again, posted by Eggy on September 6, 2003, at 11:36:44
Judy's suggestion of finding a therapist who specializes in BPD is a good one. You may find that your insurance has a short list of "preferred providers", but would allow you to choose a different provider and pay 80%, while you pay 20%. That might expand your possibilities.
I am Borderline, too, it is very difficult. Have you heard of DBT? It is a kind of therapy (there are two books: "Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder" and "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder" - they are written for therapists, but they have a lot of information about what it means to be Borderline, and how to deal with Borderline clients). It is probably the leading therapy for BPD. I did 6 months of the skills training group and I really thought that it was helpful. If you could find a DBT therapist or DBT Skills Training Group, I would definately recommend it.
I'm hoping that you are still taking your meds. If you stopped, please consider taking them again. I don't think that this would be a good time to add the stress of withdrawal and not having meds that you need to the stress that you have. Some of the meds have awful withdrawal symptoms.
You talked to your pdoc, and she said to talk to your therapist - that is pretty standard. But your pdoc didn't say that she wouldn't see you anymore, did she? You could call on Monday and reschedule some appointments with her. I left a therapist in the same group as my pdoc (across the hall from each other), and I still see my pdoc.
You said: He must not have cared at all because he knows what I could do to myself. He ditched me so I would go away. He doesn't care if I go away.
I know how you are feeling, but I think that he does care very much. Limits and boundaries are very hard for us Borderlines - VERY hard. But for us to make progress and get more under control, we have to learn to accept them. My guess is that your therapist is trying to help you learn that. It is a very hard lesson.
Please be sure if you are unsafe that you call your pdoc or go to the Emergency room.
There is another good board just for BPD that you might want to visit: http://pub69.ezboard.com/bashrisen40890
Please keep in touch
poster:fallsfall
thread:257482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/257671.html