Posted by allisonf on August 19, 2003, at 16:47:53
In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? » allisonf, posted by stebby on August 19, 2003, at 14:17:12
Glad you had a good trip camping! A little time with nature is always a good thing.
I actually think that's sort of cool that your transference replicated itself so quickly with your new therapist (like fallsfall). Like you said, it almost normalizes the feelings by showing that they are not as much love for your therapist as a reflection of old schemas and issues. But knowing that and feeling it are two separate things, I know! Intellectually, I know the bulk of it doesn't have to do with her, but then when I see her and she looks so pretty and kind, I can't help feeling love for her. So is it about the therapist's qualities at all? Do you find that your new transference follows the same exact pattern as the old?
I've been in therapy for 2 years now, but was in therapy 2-3 years with the same therapist back in 1993-1995,96. I never had any of these transference type feelings for her the first time around. But 2 years ago when I came to her, I was diagnosed with cyclothymia, which then became bp II (I really think I have bp nos). I think that my increased vulnerability this time around contributed to the dev't of my transference feelings. Also, my hypomania plays a part in it--I am much more obsessed with her when I am hypomanic or when I am trying to push myself up out of a depressed state.
I have shared with her my feelings--the nitty, gritty sexual fantasies, the maternal bit, the desire to be sisters, the feeling that I know we would be friends but for this therapy thing (we really do have a lot in common, I know I'm not imagining that!). She is...I don't know. At first she actually told me that she thought we shouldn't talk about it b/c it was feeding my hypomania. That set off alarm bells. But then when she saw I was having such a hard time, she did get into it--but like a true cognitive behavioralist--she reality tested, talked about childhood schemas, etc. She says the obssesive part will go away when we find the right meds. But here all of you are going thru it and it's not all about the meds. Even tho our work on it hasn't been perfect, I still have faith that she can help me. She has been great about just accepting what I say and trying not to let her stuff get into it.
How has your husband been handling it? Have you told him everything? Have you told your new therapist everything you are feeling too?
Thanks for your thoughts on the kids. You said you have boys, 4 and 7, right? It's so hard keeping it together and meeting all of their needs when I am so emotionally taxed. But they are definitely an incentive to recover.
Keep me posted.
poster:allisonf
thread:251041
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/252239.html